on graduating

Somebody once told me that the "ways would be opened" for me to finish my education one day.  I was 17 years old at the time, and had absolutely no idea what that meant.  It seemed very odd to me.  Why would the ways have to be opened for me to go to school?  It didn't seem like that difficult of a thing to do...go to BYU, pick a major, and then graduate.  Simple, right?

Well, it turned out not to be that simple.  Little did I know that I would get married at 19.  Then almost exactly one year after that - with only three semesters under my belt - I would move across the country to support my husband as he went to law school.  I put my own schooling on the back burner, but it was always sitting there in the forefront of my mind.  It wasn't that hard for me at the time to leave BYU, but once I did leave it only made me realize how much I missed it, and how badly I longed to go back and finish.  It became a goal of mine that I so badly wanted to accomplish.  I wanted to be able to say that I did it, and I especially wanted to set an example for my future children - especially any future daughters.  Kurt promised me that someday and somehow, I would.

He did a small internship in Utah after his first year of school, so I took a few classes at the BYU Salt Lake Center.  And during our time in Ohio, I also completed one class online - I was 9 months pregnant when I took the final exam for that class at the Ohio State institute with the institute director as my proctor.

Six days later, Jack was born.

Those three years in Ohio flew by - and as we prepared to make plans to move back to Utah after Kurt graduated, I applied to BYU again.  Let me just say that getting accepted this time was so much more exciting to me than the first time around.  I was already appreciating everything so much more this time.  I still remember sitting down with Kurt in our tiny apartment and mapping out the next few semesters, choosing my classes and figuring out my schedule.  The goal was to graduate in December of 2011.  We knew it would be difficult - I was a mother now so I could only attend part time - but we were determined to make it work.  I was beyond excited.

With my second baby on the way, I went back to BYU as a Family Studies major in the fall of 2009.  It had been exactly five years since my very first day as a freshman, and I absolutely loved it.  I loved being on that campus.  I loved it!  That first semester back, I was lucky enough to be able to attend during the day.  (After that, I started attending at night.)  I had really bad morning sickness that first semester, but I didn't care.

At the end of my first year back, I sat in the testing center - 9 months pregnant once again - and took my final exams.

One week later, Sam was born.

Our original plan changed a lot along the way - Sam being born pushed things back a bit and we eventually realized December 2011 wasn't going to happen, so we changed the goal to April 2012. Whenever I got discouraged I just kept pushing along.  It was definitely difficult at times - anxiety about leaving the boys (especially when Sam was a baby), and only being able to study during nap time or late at night were a few of things that seemed to overwhelm me at times.  And feeling as though I was constantly writing papers, or studying for tests sometimes made me feel guilty that perhaps I wasn't being the best mother I could be.  So it was at times like this that I prayed for help to be a better mother - to make being a good mom my number one priority even with all the school stuff I always had on my mind.  Day after day, Kurt would get home from work, I'd kiss him goodbye and then rush out the door.  It got extremely tiring, but as long as I was prayerful, somehow things always seemed to be okay and work out.

But more importantly, I truly started to realize what it meant to have "the ways opened" for me to finish my education.  That statement was literally coming true before my eyes.  So many blessings and little tender mercies along the way literally opened the ways for me.  Kurt's job, babysitting help from various family members, living right between the Provo campus and the BYU Salt Lake Center, and so much more.

When Sam was not quite 18 months old, we started realizing that if I really was going to finish by the next April, I had to start going full time.  So I did, and that semester I was gone almost every single night.  I usually didn't get home until really late - long after Kurt and the boys were fast asleep.  This also happened to be when I was barely pregnant with my third baby - and very sick.  At this point  I was getting pretty worn out.  I was ready to be done.

Then, right before my very last semester - still pregnant and sick - a big curve ball came our way.  Kurt had an opportunity to pursue a different job that would require us to move to California.  To say I was a little disappointed would probably be an understatement.  I had worked so hard.  I had only ONE semester left before I graduated - the end was in sight.  But we felt like we should go, so on the very first day of January 2012, we left Utah.

We were still so determined for me to finish, so I decided to do my last semester online from California.  Knowing that this would take me a little longer than actually taking classes on campus, I pushed my graduation goal to August instead of April.  I buckled down and completed 7 online classes in 6 months - I really think that might be a record.  (And I also think the proctors at the testing center here in California seriously thought I was a crazy pregnant lady with how often I was there taking tests!)  But once again, the ways were totally opened for me!  I wouldn't have been able to do this without so many little tender mercies that made it possible.  Smaller things - like the fact that my 4 and 2 year old boys would take a ridiculously long nap every single day at the exact same time, which allowed me to study - to bigger things like the professor of my capstone class allowing me to take his class online when that normally wasn't an option.

I took my very last final exam - ever! - on a Friday in late June of 2012.  It had been eight years since I first started at BYU and three years since I went back.  I was 26 years old.  And - of course - 9 months pregnant :)

Four days later, Nora was born.

When she was one month old, we drove to Utah for graduation.  It's hard for me to put into words how I felt that day.  It was a day that I had pictured in my head for so long, and the fact that it was actually finally happening was quite surreal.  It was so surreal, in fact, that I don't know if I was really able to take it all in at that very moment.  But it was a wonderful day nonetheless, and I was extremely happy.  At the last minute, we decided to leave the boys with Kurt's mom so that Kurt could actually enjoy the graduation and not end up chasing them all over the place.  My parents and siblings came to support me, too, and I loved having them there.

 

As I sat through graduation that day thinking about all that had happened to get me there, I couldn't help but think about another story, too, that made the day a little extra special.  My mother graduated from BYU as well, but never got to walk at her own graduation - the reason being that she was in the hospital giving birth to me instead.  Because of this, it was extra special having her there for me that day.  Needless to say, mama was a little emotional :)

And last - but most definitely NOT least - is the undying support I had from my amazing Kurt.  It wasn't always easy for him - especially in Utah when he hardly saw me or when he would have to put the boys to bed by himself most nights.  But he never once complained or made me feel guilty.  He was always so supportive, never making me feel like it was silly or dumb that I wanted to get my degree.  I can honestly tell you that - from the very start - this goal was always just as important to him as it was to me.  As cliche as it sounds, I could not have done it without him.  And as cheesy as it sounds, he was literally my #1 fan the entire time.  This was just as much a part of his life the last three years as it was mine.

My days are so different now that I don't have to worry about homework, writing a paper, or studying for a test.  School has been such a big part of my life for so long that it's been weird these past few months to not have that on my mind anymore.  It's always a little hard when there's a big change, and not being in school has been a big change for me.  It's definitely nice, but at the same time, it's a little sad.  I'm finding that I really miss school.  Not the online classes, but actually being there on that wonderful campus.  Not the science and statistics (twice) classes, but all the amazing religion classes plus the classes in my major, which were awesome.  I learned so much from them.  Everything from human development, marriage enhancement, cooking, sewing, parenting guidance, family finance, interior design, you name it.  I have to laugh a little bit when I tell people I was a family studies major because they always ask, "so what will you actually do with that?"  Umm....I am a mother.  I use what I learned every single day of my life.

And here is some stuff that probably only I care about, but for the sake of recording my journey, here it goes:

MY TOTALS:

*120 credit hours - even! (the EXACT number needed to graduate from BYU :) Kurt and I laugh about this because it literally came down to the wire.  I didn't even have 1 extra credit.)

*49 classes:

     - 22 on the Provo campus

     - 6 at (the old) BYU Salt Lake Center

     - 11 at (the new) BYU Salt Lake Center

     - 10 online classes (1 in Ohio, 2 in Utah, and 7 in California)

*3.29 GPA (my goal was to simply graduate above a 3.0)

I cannot believe that I am totally finished.  It's so weird!!  I am officially a college grad, can I get a woot woot! :)