some pictures on my phone…and some thoughts in my head

 

Usually I delete the dozens (and dozens!) of random snapshots the kids take with my phone.  (They give me a good laugh, they really do.  But realistically I don't need 45 close-ups of my boys' nostrils...I just don't.)  However, a few weeks ago I was looking through a fresh batch of silly pictures that Nora had taken and before I could press the delete button, I paused for some reason. These ridiculously random pictures suddenly got my mind thinking, and I just couldn't bring myself to delete them.  The Dumbo VHS case, her snow boots, Cat in the Hat, her brother's Spiderman mask, a TISSUE for crying out loud!  "Delete them!" my mind kept telling me.  But as I sat there, I pictured her walking around the house with my phone in her hand - with her wildly messy hair and probably not wearing much more than underwear - carefully picking out each item, snapping the photo, and then moving on to what she would take a picture of next.  Then I looked closer and even noticed her cute little toes in a couple of them.  I thought about how someday when my children are grown I won't find pictures like this on my phone anymore.  So I kept them…this time.

I think all the time about my children growing up.  (Let's be honest, I have major anxiety about it.)  Last Friday night we were all hanging out in the baby's room.  Everyone was content and getting along, so I was happy.  I told the boys, "You know, someday you guys probably won't want to hang out with us like this on a Friday night."  I noticed Jack getting teary-eyed and then he literally started sobbing.  Sobbing!  That sweet kid just couldn't stand the thought of not hanging out with his family - and my heart just about burst.  He crawled onto my lap (a task that is getting more and more difficult as he is already nearly my size) and cried as I held him.  Through his sobs he would say things like, "I want to always be with you guys!" and "I don't want to get older!"  I comforted him by suggesting that when he's a teenager he can simply invite his buddies over to our house, and then he can be with his friends and us at the same time.  I even said I'd make waffles for all of them.  I mean, I do want to be the cool mom after all.

He seemed to like that idea and after a while we were all laughing again.  HOWEVER, I do have to be careful to not laugh too hard these days.  Because like Sam told me recently, "Mom, when you laugh really hard your face looks creepy."

Thanks, dude.  Thanks.