oh the things my boys say.

SAM:

{Okay so the thing with Sam is you have to hear his cute voice when he says these things.  Seriously, THE cutest little voice in the history of the world.  Plus he has a lisp which makes it even better.}

-He has a new phrase that he says about a hundred times a day and it goes like this:  "I so ANGRY at you!!!" This phrase is usually accompanied by a ridiculously cute "angry" face along with his hands on his hips and some feet stomping.  It is all I can do to not laugh out loud every time.  ("Sam, the otter pops are all gone sweety." "Mom, I so ANGRY at you!!!"  "Sam, I need to change your diaper."  "Mom I so ANGRY at you!!"  "Sam, we can't play with scissors honey."  "Mom, I so ANGRY at you!!!")

-I was getting ready for tithing settlement one night (i.e. actually getting dressed and doing my hair/makeup for once).  Sam looks at me and says, "Whoa!  Lookin' good Mom!"  (Except "lookin'" was pronounced "wookin'" which makes it so much better.)

-He had a reindeer on his Christmas stocking, and all month long he called it a kangaroo.

-Nora was crying really loud one time in the car.  This was quite frustrating to Sam.  He pleaded, "Mom, can we please turn Nora down??!!"

-We have some gummy fiber supplements that we call "medicine" for Jack.  They basically taste like gummy bears, but since we call them medicine, Sam thinks he can fake being sick in order to get some.  He'll "cough" and say he needs medicine.  Geez, such a faker.

-He says "stanks" for thanks.  And let me tell you, I will do anything - anything! - for him just so I can hear him say "Stank-you mom!!"  It is truly the greatest.

-I was changing his diaper and he said, "Ew, what's dat smell?"  (Ummm, yeah tell me about it dude!  How about we do both of us a favor and get you potty trained, boy!)

-Sometimes he runs away before I can put a new diaper back on him.  I'll usually just ignore it for a few minutes until I hear him running back to me holding himself and yelling, "MOM hurry!  Plug it!  Plug it!"

-The other day he was sitting on my lap and I was admiring his gorgeous brown eyes.  I said, "You have such pretty eyes Sammy..."  To which he responded, "No I don't have pretty eyes, I have BROWN eyes!"

-He can't say "smoke".  So he'll just take the S off and say "moke".   It is so funny, and probably my favorite word that he says.  If it's foggy outside - "It's mokey!"  Steaming water on the stove - "MOKE!!"  One time Kurt was sitting on the back porch after exercising.  It was cold out so his sweat was evaporating and you could see it.  Sam exclaimed, "Whoa!  Dad!  You're moking!!" 

-He was able to listen to Jack give a talk in primary one Sunday.  Afterward, Kurt was walking him to his nursery class and he asked, "Did you like Jacky's talk, Sammy?" And Sam responded, "Yeah!!  It was a MIRACLE!"

-And the funniest phrase of all - usually only exclaimed during the most silly and hyper of moods - "Hey!!  Whats da big IDEA?!??!!!"  (Again, said with his lisp and in the cutest high pitched voice ever.  Guarantee it puts a smile on your face if you hear it.)

JACK:

-He is constantly amazing me with the things he knows, and I find myself always asking, "How did you learn that?!"  And he always replies, "Because my brain taught me."

-We somehow managed to burn some popcorn (don't ask me how that happened) and when he smelled it he shouted, "Did the microwave EXPLODE?!?!"

-After a little not-so-obedient moment with Kurt, he asked him, "Dad, when you were a little boy, did you have a hard time listening to YOUR dad?"

-I asked him to get my phone for me and he replied in a very mature motherly-like voice, "You can get it yourself, you're a big mom."

-During the presidential election he asked me, "When I grow up and I am president, will you vote for me?"

-We were coloring together and I drew a picture of him.  He looked at it and immediately said very seriously, "Whoa.  I am NOT that chubby."

-I was getting a little upset for something he had done, I can't even remember what it was.  But he desperately replied, "But mom!!!  I am just a CHILD!"

-We were driving to preschool when we realized we had forgotten his backpack.  He was completely distraught about this.  Actually that's probably an understatement.  He was full on crying and wailing about forgetting his backpack.  After a few minutes I tried to get him to calm down and stop crying.  To which he replied through tears and in the most sad voice ever, "I'm just thinking about my backpack and remembering all the good times with it..."

-He informed me one day that "chickens poop out eggs, and pigs poop out bacon."

-I found the cutest idea online where you make roads on the floor with black tape to drive toy cars on.  So I told Jack about it and we started putting black tape on the kitchen floor, and I thought I was the best mom ever.  After about 2 minutes he said very matter-of-factly, "Oh mom this is a horrible idea."  I literally burst out laughing.

-He has told me that kissing on the lips is gross because it spreads germs.  I asked him if he will get married and kiss his wife and he said, "No way.  I'll just kiss her on the cheek."

-If you know him, you know he LOVES the show Wipeout.  We decided that he had watched enough for one day so we said we weren't going to watch any more that day.  He totally panicked and with the most terrified look on his face exclaimed, "WHAT?!?!!  NEVER?!? for the rest of our LIVES?!?!?!"

-I was about to put Nora down for a nap when Jack shouted, "NO!  Don't put her down!  Then I can't see her cute little face!"

-On the way to preschool one morning he asked why all the cars still had their lights on.  I told him it was a little dark and foggy outside so they needed their lights on to see better.  And he said, "you mean to navigate better?"  (Navigate? Really?)

-We saw a man jogging outside without a shirt on.  Jack thought that was pretty "gross" and said, "When I'm a dad, I will run with my shirt ON."

-He was helping me with laundry and picked up a pair of his pajama pants that were wet.  He asked me why they were wet and I told him it was because they had pee on them from when he had wet the bed. He replied ever so matter-of-factly, "Well THAT'S unsanitary."

-Sam had gotten hurt outside so I went out to help him.  When I came back inside, Jack was kneeling down saying a prayer for Sam to feel better.  It was so sweet!  I asked him where he learned that and he said, "from dad."

-He was pretty upset about being put in timeout one time and said to us, "when I'm a dad I will tell my wife not to put our boys and girls in timeout!!!"

-Okay here's another one about timeout.  We try to explain to the boys that the reason for timeout is so you can have some time to think about what you did wrong and how to do better next time.  Well, Sam was upset as he was being carried away to timeout one time and Jack called out to him, "Its okay Sam!  You just gotta THINK!"

-He was playing with his cousins Alyssa and Brooks.  I think they were playing house and he was definitely taking charge.  This is what I heard as I listened from the other room:
Jack:  "Alyssa you be the mom, I'll be the dad, and Brooks you be the dog."
Brooks:  "No!  I don't want to be the dog!  I want to be a boy!"
Jack:  "You can be a boy dog." 

Okay we'll end with this one because it was a conversation with both of them:

I was changing Nora's diaper and both boys were watching.

Sam:  "Look at her pee pee!"

Me:  "No, she doesn't have a pee pee."

Sam:  "Why?"

Me: "Because she's a girl"

Jack:  "Will she grow one?"

Me: "No"

Jack:  "Do YOU have one?"

Me: "No"

Jack: "When I was born was mine really tiny?"

Me: "Um...yes I guess it was pretty small."

Sam:  "And was mine HUMONGOUS?!" (pronounced HOO-munguth) 

Me: hysterical laughter.