dear Summer 2014: {a hate letter}

Dear Summer 2014,
I don't mean to be rude, but I am so glad you are over.  I really didn't like you.

I mean, I had high hopes for you at the beginning.  I even made one of those "summer to do list" things with the boys.
And actually, you were alright for the first couple weeks, I'll give you that.

But then…it happened.  The pregnancy test said positive and the nausea hit.  And then you went spiraling downward and I began to really really hate you.

You will forever be linked to memories of myself lying on the couch, the bed, the floor  (whatever was there to collapse on at the moment) curled in a ball wishing the sickness would just go away.
Screaming kids, fighting kids, ZERO energy to do anything on that stupid "to do" list.
(Why did we make that list anyway?!  All it ever did was remind of everything I wasn't doing.)

You will always remind me of how heavy my eyelids were, and how keeping my house clean went straight down the toilet.  You'll remind me of having to back out of Girls Camp and Youth Conference because I knew my sick self just couldn't do it.

And the heat….ugh the HEAT!!  If possible, I feel like your heat made the nausea and exhaustion even worse.  Like your blazing sun was laughing at me for not being able to function as a normal mother/human being as it forced us to stay inside...day after day after day…uggghhhh…..

And don't get me started on the guilt.  OH THE GUILT!  The guilt of being a cranky mother and not being able to take my kids out to do anything at all.
Yes, there were a few moments of light…my mom came and cleaned my house and Jack learned how to swim which was so exciting and fun to watch.

But, for the most part, you will forever remind me of all of the yuckiness:  The heat, the boredom, the messy house, the looooong days, the exhaustion, and just feeling like pure crap.
My poor children, my poor children, my poor children...

Yes, Summer 2014, I'm sorry but you were a rough one.  And I am so glad you are over.

The boys are back in school now, I am starting to feel better, and I will not miss you at all.

I'll make up for it next summer.

Peace out.

Please enjoy these few summertime pictures - pretty much the only photos I have to document we were even alive.
Thank goodness for all those Saturdays when Kurt was home and he'd drag me off the couch and take us to 7 Peaks.  He would even buy me Taco Bell and sneak it into the water park for me.  Yep, totally against the rules.  What a good husband ;)
This was a few weeks ago - Labor Day - the last official day of summer.  I was 17 weeks.